A Grey's Gripe

Grey's Anatomy has become my favorite show on television. And that's saying something, given the sheer volume my DVR records everday. It is smart, the storylines are layered and the characters have dimension.

Almost every major character on the show has an obvious, visible flaw. And the show is written in a way that lets the viewer decide how to feel about the characters. For example, Meredith, the supposed center of the show, is deeply flawed, whiney and self-involved. And yet, she isn't pushed down the viewer's throats. She makes mistakes, she pays for them, we move on.

BUT. Lately, with the addition of Denny the heart patient, Grey's and their normally superior writing team have really dropped the ball. I haven't talked to one single Grey's viewer who likes his addition to the show. He appears obviously as a plot device to break up Izzy and Alex. That type of writing is par for the course on 85% of the shows on TV, but Grey's usually manages not to resort to that type of laziness.

Even when McDreamy's wife, Addison, showed up as a cliff hanger last season, in season two her character quickly became as layered and complex as the rest of the cast. Love or hate her, you understood all sides of the story. And the writers pretty much let the viewers decide how to feel about her. To form their own opinions.

With Denny, however, he's written in a manipulative, isn't-he-charming sort of way that only serves to prove he's not. We've never seen anything other than pity from Izzy to Denny. The writers have given no reason for her character to jump beyond basic compassion and into the murky waters of romantic love. It feels cloying and contrived to have Izzy suddenly feel like she's in a relationship with a patient she barely knows. It disrespects the viewer's investment in the character of Izzy and in the progression of her "relationship" with Alex.

For the first time in my Grey's viewership my impatient fast forward finger has been activated in Denny and Izzy scenes. I actually rooted for his death in the last episode (3/19/06). And the horrible things the writers forced Izzy to say to Alex upon their break up were terribly out of character. My friend Jacque made a good point that viewers won't soon forget the things Izzy said to Alex (just as viewers didn't forget when Alex cheated on Izzy, a much more "in character" move, by the way).

I'm not campaigning for an Izzy/Alex true love always relationship. But I am campaigning for the Grey's writers to continue their successful tendency to treat viewers with respect and give them credit for being faithful to the show.

I am rebellious by nature and don't like to be told how to feel or what to think. And right now the Grey's writers want me to love Denny and hate Alex and I resent that manipulation.

Thoughts of Paint and Ghandi

I'm going to paint my upstairs guest bedroom. It's a room that currently collects silence and dust bunnies in equal measure. I can't say that I really need to paint the room. Whole weeks can go by without me going upstairs. I forget it's there sometimes. And yet, the fact that the walls are currently a 1980s shade of seafoam green stirs within me an urge to put my mark on that otherwise unused space.

I've settled on red. Or at least, red on a wall or two and the rest a pleasant beige. I've started looking through magazines and catalogues for inspiration. Complementary colors, themes, ideas. A room I never use is suddenly the most important room in my house. The focus of my thoughts.

Now that I've decided I am going to transform that space, I've starting thinking of people I can invite to come and stay with me. I've begun hoping for out of town guests. My father's annual spring 10 day visit is suddenly all the more thrilling knowing he will stay in my newly stylish room.

It got me thinking about the movie Field of Dreams and the whole "if you build it they will come" creepy, whispering admonishment Kevin Costner hears over and over. Do we react to life or does life react to us?

Do we have to change ourselves, our world, our existence before other people react positvely to us, or do we change in reaction to the positive or negative feedback given to us by others?

As the daughter of a psychologist, I know the difference between being proactive and reactive. And therapists love proactive people. And proactive people paint rooms red without worrying about whether or not anyone will ever see it. Reactive people wait to paint the room red until they know someone needs a place to stay. A proactive person is happy without the input of others, a reactive person needs a road map to find happiness.

The question, then, is an individual one. And maybe is should we react to life or should life react to us? I would propose the latter. A thinker far less cheesy than Kevin Costner said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." And I wish my world red. This weekend it will be so.

Taste accounting

I think the cliche goes something like "there is no accounting for taste", which I have taken to mean that one person's junk is another person's treasure. But the more I think about that, the more I'd like a little taste accounting.

There are things in this world I just don't enjoy. The taste of meat, soy milk, grapefruit. Bill O'Reilly. But I understand that other people do. Just because I think meat tastes like sweat, soy milk tastes like the sole of a shoe and grapefruit tastes like battery acid, doesn't mean everyone does. I have tried to like green olives for the past 22 years of my life. My sister and my dad go nuts over these certain olives from Southern California (Graber Olives) that my grandma sends each year at Christmas. Watching them enjoy the olives makes me wish I liked them too. But I don't. And it's not for lack of trying.

But other things, especially music, movies, TV, certain design sesibilities, just don't make sense to me. And not only do they not make sense to me, I don't understand how they make sense to other people. Someone out there thinks Carrot Top is funny, otherwise, why is he famous? Why does he get to do commercials? Someone at some point thought Gallagher's watermelon smashing was hysterical. Someone must watch According to Jim. Somebody likes Star Jones. Somebody appreciates really strong perfume. Somebody likes that dreadful Nickelback song about the photograph. Somebody still likes flowery wallpaper.

Who are these people? Because we aren't just talking about the oddly sour taste of a green olive. We are talking about shows people choose to spend time watching. Movies people pay money to see. Comedians people laugh at. Clothes people choose to put on their bodies. Ways people choose to decorate their houses.

So I want some taste accounting! How is it that According to Jim, Still Standing, Skating with Celebrities, and dare I say, even Will and Grace are all still on the air and Arrested Development, one of the truly funny shows of our time, has been virtually cancelled? It makes me wonder if I'm the one with the problem. Am I missing something subtle and wonderful in one of the aformentioned shows? Is it because I don't eat meat?

I guess I'll try to be more open minded. But I can't say that's helped me with grapefruit and green olives.